Freedom & Wind

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✨The fastest way to freedom is to feel your feelings. ~ Gita Bellin 
Ah! to feel my feelings the same way wind flaps my hair or an unexpected cold gust hits my face. Let it penetrate. Still, often times I speak of Tommy and not feel anything. Sometimes it’s like I strategize or anticipate what to do next. Like am an actor. Like the feeling is not mine- I dissociate completely to survive the moment. To be polite perhaps hold it together. I’ve feared feeling many times over. And Ive notice, if I don’t feel something all the way through- it’s comes back. Sometimes it’s in a form of malaise, memories, illness even- like my body is signalling something. Most time we’ve pushed stuff way down under and it’s become the new normal. The fear of feeling is the ghost of countless addictions- a way to numb out the stings- Overexercising, overeating, busyness, drugs & alcohol, mindless scrolling, gossiping etc. In what way do you avoid feeling? Notice how you use the same reasons over and over again « am too busy » or a cultural favourite « I don’t have time ». In Tommy Tinker Forever i speak of ‘small daily acts of bravery’. 5 minutes to do what you love, to be in silence, to hold off on all the reasons you’ve been given yourself for years. 5 minutes on a shore, surrounded by birds, letting your feelings wash & rinse you like waves. There is the warrior in us all. Soon, perhaps we’ll come to know that this is the necessary way of being. 
Love you in freedom & wind, always.
E ⭐️ #tommytinkerforever

Estelle ThomsonComment