The gift of your LIFE.

from @tinkerbellestelle 

from @tinkerbellestelle 

I have been thinking about the gift that his my life lately. 
And I don't say this lightly. I don't say it sounding 'new-agey'.
I say it matter-of-factly.

Isaiah & I were busy colouring a moose black and brown today. 

Out of nowhere he looked at me, tears swelling up his eyes, obstinately drawings antlers.

His four year old voice telling me how much he missed Tommy.

It took me aback (grief works this way, you see) .

'Do you feel him, mummy?' he blurted out. 
I was determined. 

'I feel him right now, painting, drawing with you , being present with you and playing with you and talking with you about him to YOU....'

'Do you feel him too? " 
My gaze was fierce, my eyes sparkly.

"Yeah" Isaiah said, sincerely. 

In loving it begins and in loving it ends. 
May this life be one of connections. 
Of initiations. 
Of awkward pauses, nervous breaks, take-backs and jump-ins. 
If its not filled with joy, if it doesn't take your breathe away, if it doesn't hurt ...

Then, it's not life. 

I have been thinking of the GIFT that his my life lately.....

Estelle Thomson