REACH OUT

REACH OUT.  I had a moment today, teaching my Mom & Baby Yoga class remembering Thomas, crawling in and around me as I religiously did yoga in our many intimate afternoons-just the two of us. Tommy had gotten use to watching me rise, watching me fall. He loved everything about the motion, everything about it’s rhythm. The stove lit, the weather cold, milk stained on my mat as I did my best to show up for my breathe. Throwing him a toy train he’d be interested in for a split of second just enough for me to do a lunge, a ball for a warrior, a book for a handstand. He’d love it though. Sometimes I’d pick him up and told him lovingly, he too would be a yogi one day. I won’t lie. It wasn’t easy to go back teaching the pre- and post natal stuff. To see both babies and mom cooing, relating, loving. But you know what it did? It made me shake off the resentment. The jealousy. I went right where it should have been excruciating for me to be- the DARK. And I stood there, taught the yoga, and realized the classes wasn't about me.  By reaching out, helping them, teaching them, THAT in itself automatically helped me, healed me.  Still does. I see Tommy in all babies now. And then at home, I keep rising. I keep falling. #captureyourgrief #whathealsyourheart #whathealsyou #theyogaofmotherhood