Day 2

'Where's Tommy?' Isaiah asks about 3 times a day & 'why did he die?'. Every time my 3 year old inquires, my heart sinks realizing the cruelty of my reality right now.

Isaiah's has looked for tommy everywhere-in his room (maybe he's upstairs sleeping), at the hospital (very plausible since we spent so much time there), in the ceiling (because heaven is 'up' there) &in mommy's belly (hard not to bawl on that one). All places which seem very acceptable for a witty& clever toddler.

This picture was taken after Tommy's memorial. On the way back home, Isaiah had screamed in the car wanting us to turn back &go to the hospital where he could give tommy 'one last hug & a kiss, one last hug & a kiss'.

I decided to tell him that for now on, every time we want to kiss tommy.....we'll kiss the sky!! we'll kiss the moon!! &the stars!! &the mountains!!.....'and the birds too?' Isaiah said cheerfully. 'You bet!!' I said.

I hear him sometimes, in the back seat of the car, kissing away, giggling, blowing some heavy smooches up everywhere.

'What are you doing back there Isaiah?'. 'Kissing Tommy, Mommy'#TommyTinkerForever

Estelle Thomson