'Meh' days no more

👣💛 I love this moment: so ordinary, so banal. 

Two little boys snaking and watching TV. I look at this image now and I respect it so much. Through grief, I have been able to open myself up to the everyday world in a new perspective- a wider lens on the world. That I stopped whatever I was multitasking that day and took this particularly boring picture. That I observed them there, my two little loves, with tilted golden hair heads, in the messy sunroom, on a regular week night. That I made myself awake and present for this moment. It helps me remember it so vividly. You could almost taken back: the smell of a chicken dinner cooking, the little high pitched noise coming out of Tommy and the loud ones as he slammed his favorite toy on the high chair. Isaiah obsessed with Paw patrol asking me for 'baby milk'. 

This particularly blah picture reminds me to boost my everyday presence in the ordinary, the banal, the routine, the mundane, my 'meh' days. As I look back at this fine memory, I swallow deep and take a spacious breath. Because it was nothing BUT ordinary. It was all the homey warmly lovely things that make up a home.

My presence is my love. 
My love makes me alive.
Awake and alive makes me well.