Day 19


I remember in undergrad, when I had a insanely tough statistic exam & anxiety would creep in, I would dress up for it. Not kidding. I’d take my make-up case, my best up-do &skirt, favorite shoes & strut along. I’d tell myself, that at least if I’d flunk, I’d look good doing it. It’s hard not feeling good when you look you’re best.

When I went to the Moksha Yoga Teacher’s Training in 2010, one of the best philosophies that has forged my teaching journey & creped in other dimensions of my life ever since was to ‘fake it , till you make it’. Doesn’t matter if you don’t believe it just fake it, dammit!

Shortly after Tommy passed, at the height of my torment- I put on my stretchy pants, did up my messy bun & held my head up high. Reaching out for a sense of normalcy or survival- I am not sure. But what I know for certain is that when I teach, I give. When I give, I feel happy. It’s that simple.

In her book Anatomy of the Spirit, Carolyn Myss notes that the path to an empowered heart is to give. When you give she says ‘you start living within the consciousness of appreciation & gratitude even if you have to-‘fake it until you make it”. She goes on: ‘initiate a spiritual practice , and stick to it- do not be casual about your spiritual practice’. I am glad I intuitively did all that.

Btw, I got an A- in that statistic class. And am glad I am not casual about my shoes either. 

#TommyTinkerForever#captureyourgrief #whathealsyou #whathealsyourheart #cowbaylove